While we have been watching your pictures for weeks
now, you do not know anything about our existence. Our dreams are about you,
your brothers talk about you. It’s three years now that you are part of our
thoughts. A child in an orphanage in China, the same orphanage as the one
Qiujun grew up in, his first 2.5 years.
This summer we officially gave up our hopes that he
would grow up in our family. We sold the small bikes and we gave away the
clothes that were too small for Qiujun. Last November our reality took a 180
degrees turn. This child was still in the orphanage and his paperwork was ready
so he could be adopted Practical objections were there but we decided to let
the feeling rule that he belongs to our family. And one way or another, the
whole universe seemed part of this plan. And agency took the leap of faith with
us and Child Protection Services really helped us. It looks like this child is
going to be part of our family in reality.
While we watch his pictures every day, he does not know about our existence. I am trying
to imagine his reality, the walls of the
orphanage, the nannies, the other children. His bed, the tables, the floor. His
reality will change completely while he has nothing to say about it, no understanding
what is happening, maybe he is not even told what is going on. Just like the
day his birthparents left him. We decided for him that he is better off with us
than in the orphanage or another family. We said yes, he has nothing to say.
I will love
you, I will be there for you, I will give you everything you need, all my love,
all my warmth. My arm around you, you hip to carry you on, my patience to wait
for you. I will wait for you until eternity. If you need time to get used to
your new world, to understand us, to like it to be with us, to feel that you can be who you are, I will wait for
you. I do not expect anything from you because I have everything I could wish
for and in my world you can be who you want to be, who you are.
